Sr Helen Kilimnik

27 April 2009
Dear James, one thing Jeannine never failed to enquire of us, whether it was in supervision, consultation or even in casual conversation… was how we established and nurtured mutuality with our clients, our students, etc… for it is the basic ingredient for any maturation or therapeutic undertaking. Obviously, this supposes  we  are trying to establish some kind of significant relationship. Mutuality has little to do with feeling, but rather with observation of the other and how the other responds to stimuli that we send out, consciously and not so consciously.  It is the careprovider, or the therapist, or the teacher… that must observe the effect of the stimuli on the recipient, and decide the adjustment of the “dose”.

If you look up ‘mutuality’ in her book, you wil  see that there are a number of references.  I would suggest that you stay with the first level of maturation, the first year of life, where the stimuli of the caregiver are received/ accepted/ rejected/ enjoyed…by the developing organism…all this takes place through the senses in the developing body identity.  In therapy the same process is followed and I think our Creator also respects the maturation process inscribed in us.”Taste and see…open your mouth and I will fill it, take and eat…listen, hear, look…”
I am sending you an article I wrote on this. I hope you don’t mind that it’s in French…somewhat  simplified but still valid. 
Keep well! Helen
15 January 2009
Dear James, a friend in Northern Ireland who has come to the Institute on several occasions, spotted your  article in the Tablet and send me a copy.  I was deeply touched to read how well you expressed her process of actualization of vital human strengths.  So often Jeanine and I discussed how to bring in the spiritual aspects, but she  cautioned us  not to spiritualize her process too quickly. Human development, for her, already was a sacred trust and had to be solidified and valued, for grace would build on nature.  You have  grasped her spirit and have brought it forward in a way that would have delighted her.  Thank you! 
I remember visiting Ealing  with Jeanine  when we stopped in London on our way to Northern Ireland. I’m very much interested to read that you have an ongoing group meeting every six weeks.  I especially love your reference to the re-reading as a lectio divina of our life…very appropriate! 
                                             Helen Kilimnik, SNJM